He was with her yesterday.

I've no right but why do I feel so betrayed?

I wanted to cry when called me up at work. He knows now that something's up. He just doesn't know - or pretends not to know - why.

I'm at fault. I've no right to complain.

wtf.


Illusion is the first of all pleasures.
Oscar Wilde

You know you could always claim me as yours.
I just wonder if there will be a time that I could unhesitatingly call you my own.

---

I know he cares for me; I just am not sure if he loves me. Because, for all I know, he's still committed to her. Nevermind that he spends most of his time with me.

That's why I don't want to ask. I don't want to make him choose. Because I'm painfully aware it wouldn't be me.

--

Ka-text ko si Joselle kanina. Sabi nya, blooming daw ako, at "you look happy and contented". Sa totoo lang, hindi sya ang unang nakapansin nito. Dami kaya.

Masaya naman talaga ako. Mahal ko kasi sya. Meron lang mga pagkakataong naitatanong mo sa sarili, kung tama pa ba yung ginagawa mo.

Ang sarap sanang malaman sa kanyang mahal nya (rin) ako. Ako na siguro ang pinakamasayang tao pag nagkaganun. Yun bang parang kahit ano kaya mong gawin; walang hindi posible.

Kanina tinitingnan ko yung pics namin sa phone ko.

Masaya ka ba pag kasama mo 'ko?

Do you know that when we're together I always get the impulse to tell you I love you?

I hope you know just how much.

I miss you. I can't live without you. Damn it, why does it have to be so hard? Why does my happiness have to be the cause of another's pain?

But what right do I have? You never said anything, right? Pure actions. They can be deceiving, but you're not the type to do those things lightly.

I refuse to believe that you just made a plaything out of me.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

He loves me not.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

He loves me not.

HE LOVES ME.

... But this is what I have come to understand: to love is to accept the verdict of reality without bitterness, without regret, without smidgen of a doubt. When you love, you will get hurt. Accept it as a fact. It's part of the pain-pleasure phenomenon. You cannot love wisely because loving doesn't involve thinking. Thinking results in a conscious choice. But you cannot choose whom to fall in love with.

from Nia

One year with BPI... yey!
One year since I first thought you were twenty-five years old...

---

Masakit ang ulo ko.

... pero masarap mabuhay

THE LAW OF IMPENETRABILITY-
No two objects can occupy the same space at the same time.


Understand me when I say that I want you to be happy.
I can't even describe how hard it is without you.

"It's nice to see you again."

If you only knew how much this means to me.

I wouldn't have minded so much, fighting for this love. What hurts is the thought of having to fight alone, when you're the only reason why I still could take all of this.

If you would just tell me to hold on. The littlest hope is worth risking everything for.

It came.

Now I could only stare at the hands that used to hold mine. I could still remember the feel of his pulse, but there are times when it all seems so long ago.

There will come a time in your life when you will fall in love with one single soul. For this person you'd do anything, and when asked why you love this person you have no answer; you simply do. You'll try your whole life to understand how one person can affect you as much as they did, but you'll never find out, and no matter how badly you hate it or how badly it hurts, you'll love this person without regret, for the rest of your life...

I'm looking for the wrong person - but not just any wrong person - the right wrong peson. Someone I would lovingly gaze upon and think, "This is the problem I want to have."