April 3rd, 2005
when boys become a girl's best friend
by Pamela Angela Salomon Pastor
Inquirer News Service
CONTRARY to the popular belief that men cannot have purely platonic relationships with women, today more and more females have found best friends in their male counterparts. Of course, even more women have gay best friends, but hey, that's a different ball game.
We all know that women outnumber men. So why can't women stick to tradition and just giggle with their girlfriends? Let me tell you why:
While most guys are terrible at being good boyfriends, they can actually be great friends. Without the stress of jealousy, commitment, looming anniversaries and other dates that should-never-be-not-even-once forgotten, women and men can have pretty good relationships.
They're not afraid to get their hands dirty. While most women squeal when being splattered with mud, men like rolling in it. They don't worry about ruining their manicure or getting dabbed with spaghetti sauce on their shirt. They're more relaxed, less conscious. That makes them more fun.
They don't spend too much time going on bathroom breaks.
They don't constantly complain that they're getting fat.
They think like guys. How else will you be able to dissect the head of that guy you've been drooling for without your male best friend's analysis of the situation? How will you snag Mr. Perfect without his guidance? Your male best friend knows what and how guys think - he is one.
They give great advice. While women tend to be more flowery with words, men tell it as it is (unless of course, they are in the middle of courtship or are trying to sweet talk girls into something). They jolt you back to reality.
You feel protected. Now I do not mean that women are weak, weak creatures. I am a feminist myself. But it's nice to know that if someone starts beating you up, your male best friend will be there to help you cream them.
They act like big brothers. They warn you about no-good idiots who are after you. But of course, they're actually all big babies, which brings us to the next reason:
You can mother them. Let's face it. Men - whether they're 16 or 60 - are kids. It's a given fact.
They don't fall in love with guys. How many friendships have been ruined because of pals going after the same guy? Countless. This will never happen between you and your male best friend - to each his own.
They're not afraid of calories. For most girls, pigging out is unheard of. Guys live for buffets and enjoy food more. That makes them great companions for eating out.
They don't like boybands. (Most of them, anyway.)
They're sweet.
They don't shriek or scream.
You can be yourself. Forget about crossing your legs and dabbing at your little mouth with a napkin. You can relax and chill and do whatever you want. You can be a guy with them.
They don't get PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome) - ever.
They don't talk about getting married - at least, not to you.
They're not too clingy.
They won't get mad when your phone is busy. Then again, in this day and age when almost everyone has call-waiting, who does?
They share your love for computers and passion for the Internet.
You can talk about the NBA - and not just about how cute the players are.
They don't easily freak out. They can handle gory and morbid stuff. They don't get terrified.
Their parents are not strict with them. Unlike most girls, they don't have curfews and can do what they want when they want to. That means more time for you to hang out.
But, of course, like everything else in this world, having boy buds also has its downside. Here are a few:
Their girlfriends get jealous of you. Admit it, sometimes, us girls can be pretty unreasonable. Some females would not be 100% comfortable with the idea that you're hanging out with her guy a lot.
They forget you're a girl. They've been calling you "dude" for such a long time that they've forgotten your gender. This is why you'd hear your guy friend say, "Whoa!" when he sees you all dressed and made up.
This is why they think it's okay to salivate over other girls and comment on their bodies when you're around. This is the reason they tell disgusting jokes and expect you to laugh with them. Don't expect them to open doors for you and yes, don't expect them to carry your things. And unless you start wearing skirts to show off your legs, it will probably take a bump on their heads to remember you're a girl.
They can be pretty obnoxious. They can rattle off endless curse words for minutes. They can tell sexist jokes and can be pretty sarcastic at times. But once you sharpen your tongue and prepare your own vocabulary of insults, you may just beat them at their own game.
Sometimes, they can take you for granted. You've been with them so long that they expect you to hang around forever. If they blow off your plans because they suddenly got a date with some hot chick, they expect you to grin and bear it. If they ask you to befriend this girl they've got the hots for so they can get on her good side, they expect you to do it for them even if you hate her guts. Let's face it. Most men really need a dose of sensitivity.
You may end up as a girlfriend substitute. This happens a lot especially with males who are afraid of commitment. You end up going to his prom or to his all-important office function as his date. He introduces you to his parents just to stop them from asking about his almost non-existent dating status. He finds security in your friendship and seeks comfort in your companionship. You become his ultimate excuse for not going out with other women.
You have to endure their burping contests. And when you tell them to say, "Excuse me," you get chided for being too prude.
They may scare away boys that you like. Having other boys around you all the time may cause a hottie to think twice about asking you out especially if he's the type that scares easily. One, he may think that any of the guys are more than just a friend. Two, even if they are just your friends, he probably knows that if he screws up and hurts you, he's going to be in trouble. Then again, why should this bother you? If the potential boyfriend cannot even stand up and face your friends, how can you expect him to be strong when it is needed?
Your boyfriend can get jealous of them. In the same way that their girls do not appreciate your presence, your guy might not like the idea of you hanging out with your close male buds. The male ego is a very, very sensitive thing. More so if the owner dotes on it. As bad as this sounds, sometimes, it boils down to a difficult choice - your boyfriend or your boy-friends?
They can dump you when their girlfriends get too jealous. Since you are expected to always be the perfect and understanding friend, they don't think you're going to mind if they stop hanging out with you. "She doesn't understand why we have to go out and watch movies when I can do it with her." But you've got to understand the guy. He's probably pretty sick of hearing her whine, "Why is she texting you again? Doesn't she have any other friends?" and "What! You're going out again? But you just went out with her last week!" And just in case that particular relationships ends, they expect to be able to pick up from where they left and resume the friendship like nothing happened. Yes, friends make sacrifices. Even hard ones.
They can fall in love with you. If I'd get a peso for every single time this has happened in history, I can probably buy that Ford 150 now. Unless you feel the same way about your guy friend and you want the friendship to become more than just that, the situation may not be pretty. Either you forget about it and laugh about it when you get older or your friendship goes ka-put. Definitely not a good way to end things.
Or worse yet if you find yourself up falling in love with them. Guess that's why for security's sake, always keep a handful of girl friends. That way you have people to run to in case you lose your guy best friend.
Inquirer News Service
CONTRARY to the popular belief that men cannot have purely platonic relationships with women, today more and more females have found best friends in their male counterparts. Of course, even more women have gay best friends, but hey, that's a different ball game.
We all know that women outnumber men. So why can't women stick to tradition and just giggle with their girlfriends? Let me tell you why:
While most guys are terrible at being good boyfriends, they can actually be great friends. Without the stress of jealousy, commitment, looming anniversaries and other dates that should-never-be-not-even-once forgotten, women and men can have pretty good relationships.
They're not afraid to get their hands dirty. While most women squeal when being splattered with mud, men like rolling in it. They don't worry about ruining their manicure or getting dabbed with spaghetti sauce on their shirt. They're more relaxed, less conscious. That makes them more fun.
They don't spend too much time going on bathroom breaks.
They don't constantly complain that they're getting fat.
They think like guys. How else will you be able to dissect the head of that guy you've been drooling for without your male best friend's analysis of the situation? How will you snag Mr. Perfect without his guidance? Your male best friend knows what and how guys think - he is one.
They give great advice. While women tend to be more flowery with words, men tell it as it is (unless of course, they are in the middle of courtship or are trying to sweet talk girls into something). They jolt you back to reality.
You feel protected. Now I do not mean that women are weak, weak creatures. I am a feminist myself. But it's nice to know that if someone starts beating you up, your male best friend will be there to help you cream them.
They act like big brothers. They warn you about no-good idiots who are after you. But of course, they're actually all big babies, which brings us to the next reason:
You can mother them. Let's face it. Men - whether they're 16 or 60 - are kids. It's a given fact.
They don't fall in love with guys. How many friendships have been ruined because of pals going after the same guy? Countless. This will never happen between you and your male best friend - to each his own.
They're not afraid of calories. For most girls, pigging out is unheard of. Guys live for buffets and enjoy food more. That makes them great companions for eating out.
They don't like boybands. (Most of them, anyway.)
They're sweet.
They don't shriek or scream.
You can be yourself. Forget about crossing your legs and dabbing at your little mouth with a napkin. You can relax and chill and do whatever you want. You can be a guy with them.
They don't get PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome) - ever.
They don't talk about getting married - at least, not to you.
They're not too clingy.
They won't get mad when your phone is busy. Then again, in this day and age when almost everyone has call-waiting, who does?
They share your love for computers and passion for the Internet.
You can talk about the NBA - and not just about how cute the players are.
They don't easily freak out. They can handle gory and morbid stuff. They don't get terrified.
Their parents are not strict with them. Unlike most girls, they don't have curfews and can do what they want when they want to. That means more time for you to hang out.
But, of course, like everything else in this world, having boy buds also has its downside. Here are a few:
Their girlfriends get jealous of you. Admit it, sometimes, us girls can be pretty unreasonable. Some females would not be 100% comfortable with the idea that you're hanging out with her guy a lot.
They forget you're a girl. They've been calling you "dude" for such a long time that they've forgotten your gender. This is why you'd hear your guy friend say, "Whoa!" when he sees you all dressed and made up.
This is why they think it's okay to salivate over other girls and comment on their bodies when you're around. This is the reason they tell disgusting jokes and expect you to laugh with them. Don't expect them to open doors for you and yes, don't expect them to carry your things. And unless you start wearing skirts to show off your legs, it will probably take a bump on their heads to remember you're a girl.
They can be pretty obnoxious. They can rattle off endless curse words for minutes. They can tell sexist jokes and can be pretty sarcastic at times. But once you sharpen your tongue and prepare your own vocabulary of insults, you may just beat them at their own game.
Sometimes, they can take you for granted. You've been with them so long that they expect you to hang around forever. If they blow off your plans because they suddenly got a date with some hot chick, they expect you to grin and bear it. If they ask you to befriend this girl they've got the hots for so they can get on her good side, they expect you to do it for them even if you hate her guts. Let's face it. Most men really need a dose of sensitivity.
You may end up as a girlfriend substitute. This happens a lot especially with males who are afraid of commitment. You end up going to his prom or to his all-important office function as his date. He introduces you to his parents just to stop them from asking about his almost non-existent dating status. He finds security in your friendship and seeks comfort in your companionship. You become his ultimate excuse for not going out with other women.
You have to endure their burping contests. And when you tell them to say, "Excuse me," you get chided for being too prude.
They may scare away boys that you like. Having other boys around you all the time may cause a hottie to think twice about asking you out especially if he's the type that scares easily. One, he may think that any of the guys are more than just a friend. Two, even if they are just your friends, he probably knows that if he screws up and hurts you, he's going to be in trouble. Then again, why should this bother you? If the potential boyfriend cannot even stand up and face your friends, how can you expect him to be strong when it is needed?
Your boyfriend can get jealous of them. In the same way that their girls do not appreciate your presence, your guy might not like the idea of you hanging out with your close male buds. The male ego is a very, very sensitive thing. More so if the owner dotes on it. As bad as this sounds, sometimes, it boils down to a difficult choice - your boyfriend or your boy-friends?
They can dump you when their girlfriends get too jealous. Since you are expected to always be the perfect and understanding friend, they don't think you're going to mind if they stop hanging out with you. "She doesn't understand why we have to go out and watch movies when I can do it with her." But you've got to understand the guy. He's probably pretty sick of hearing her whine, "Why is she texting you again? Doesn't she have any other friends?" and "What! You're going out again? But you just went out with her last week!" And just in case that particular relationships ends, they expect to be able to pick up from where they left and resume the friendship like nothing happened. Yes, friends make sacrifices. Even hard ones.
They can fall in love with you. If I'd get a peso for every single time this has happened in history, I can probably buy that Ford 150 now. Unless you feel the same way about your guy friend and you want the friendship to become more than just that, the situation may not be pretty. Either you forget about it and laugh about it when you get older or your friendship goes ka-put. Definitely not a good way to end things.
Or worse yet if you find yourself up falling in love with them. Guess that's why for security's sake, always keep a handful of girl friends. That way you have people to run to in case you lose your guy best friend.
posted @ 02:28 PM | 3 splashed
