... themesong ko raw 'to.

* * * * *

I can't fight this feeling any longer.
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow.
What started out as friendship,
Has grown stronger.
I only wish I had the strength to let it show.

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever.
I said there is no reason for my fear.
Cause I feel so secure when we're together.
You give my life direction,
You make everything so clear.

And even as I wander,
I'm keeping you in sight.
You're a candle in the window,
On a cold, dark winter's night.
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
It's time to bring this ship into the shore,
And throw away the oars, forever.

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
And if I have to crawl upon the floor,
Come crashing through your door,
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you.
I've been running round in circles in my mind.
And it always seems that I'm following you, girl,
Cause you take me to the places,
That alone I'd never find.

And even as I wander,
I'm keeping you in sight.
You're a candle in the wind,
On a cold, dark winter's night.
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
It's time to bring this ship into the shore,
And throw away the oars, forever.

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
And if I have to crawl upon the floor,
Come crashing through your door,
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

* * * * *

Themesong ko nga...

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Happy moments, praise God.

Difficult moments, seek God.

Quiet moments, worship God.

Painful moments, trust God.

Every moment, thank God.



*from an email

Naaalala ko pa minsan, hindi kami nagsabay umuwi. Masama pa nga ang loob ko; sanay kasi akong andun sya... kasama mula Main Building hanggang kahabaan ng Calle España. Kahit may katabi akong iba, kung wala sya... para pa rin akong nag-iisa.

Dumaan muna ako ng kapilya at saka nagpasyang ikutin ang kampus. Nilampasan ko ang Main Building, lumiko sa Pay Parking, binagtas ang covered walk. Parallel na ako sa España... sa Engineering gate na lang kaya ako lumabas? Gusto ko pang magmuni-muni eh. Malayo ang tingin ko, nakapokus sa labas ng eskwelahan. Pagsulyap ko sa aking harapan...

Andun sya, nakangiti. Hinihintay ako.

Maraming uwian na ang nakalipas magmula noon. Iba na ang kasabay ko; ganun rin sya. Ngunit di maiwasan ng puso kong humiling na sana, sa katapusan ng paglalakbay, ay matagpuan naming muli ang isa't isa. Sana, pagsulyap ko sa aking harapan, andun sya, nakangiti...

Hinihintay ako.

There is often more wisdom to be found at the edges of life than in its middle. Sometimes a card that has been on the bottom of the deck for most of our lives turns out to be the top card, the thing that really matters.

You will still be here tomorrow
But your dreams may not...


I wish I could scrape enough money, so I can start law school already...

By Claudia Parsons from Yahoo! News









NEW YORK (Reuters) - The diners arrived at a nice Manhattan restaurant on a cold February night and stripped off coats, hats, gloves and scarves. They didn't stop there.

Skirts, shirts, pants, underwear and stockings all ended up stashed in plastic bags by the bar as the patrons got naked for the monthly "Clothing Optional Dinner."

"It's exciting to be in a restaurant nude," said George Keyes, 65, a retired junior high school English teacher.

Nude yes, but not unadorned.

Keyes, a lifelong nudist, wore a necklace, earrings and a black leather "genital bracelet" with red studs. And white sneakers.

The dinner was started by a group of New York nudists who wanted something a bit more elegant than the wilderness getaways and beach resorts they generally frequent.

"When you go away on holiday it's more you're roughing it in the woods, whereas this is a really nice restaurant," said Keyes, a member of gay nudist group Males Au Naturel, or MAN.

John Ordover set up the dining club about a year ago, recruiting members through word of mouth and the Internet.

"Next month is our Easter bonnet event, where everybody has to come wearing an Easter bonnet," said Ordover, a heavyset man with a jovial smile and glasses.


SOMETHING TO SIT ON ...

Around 30 people arrived for the buffet dinner -- organizers specified no hot soup on the menu -- most of them middle-aged, several married couples, some singles, the youngest perhaps in their 30s.

"They're a good class of people, they're no different to you or I," said John Bussi, owner of the midtown restaurant. "They're not hurting anybody, it's not a wild Roman orgy."

Health regulations mean staff must remain clothed even if they wanted to join in. And diners must bring something to sit on -- a towel or, for discerning women, an elegant silk scarf.

The restaurant's manager covered the windows to maintain privacy at the strictly private party. Extra heaters kept the temperature at a comfortable level for nudity.

Ordover's wife, Carol, said they first went on a naturist holiday five years ago and she found the experience empowering. But, she explained, it's "the least sexual thing you can possibly imagine."

"Men in nudist resorts are striking a bargain. They get to see as many naked women as they like as long as they are polite and look them straight in the eye," she said.

Sherry Stafford, a petite and elegant 51-year-old with blond hair and high heels, brought brochures and videos advertising her travel business, Internaturally Travel.

One of the flyers was for a resort called "Hedonism II" whose slogan is "Be wicked for a week." But she said nudists should not be confused with swingers.

"Wearing clothes and going to church does not protect you from moral evil," Stafford said, lamenting what she saw as a tendency to demonize people just because they like to be naked.

Sandy, a slim woman in her 40s, said she never felt self-conscious about her body and was comfortable dining in the nude. But she did admit to being a bit more nervous before a recent naked yoga class attended by around 25 people.

"Everyone was a little concerned there would be people looking around but the good thing is nobody really was," she said, standing at the restaurant's bar before dinner.

"If you try to maintain a yoga position you're going to fall if you start looking around -- and that's more embarrassing than anything else."

I was answering an online personality test when I realized that I've been clicking at radio buttons...

Sabi mo, isa akong radio button. Isang bagay na pinili mo among the rest. Hindi tulad ng check box na pwede pang sabayan ng ibang options. Namumukod-tangi.

... TANGINA! ...

Nami-miss tuloy kita...

Oo na, sabi ko nga miss kita. Pero sinabi ko bang tawagan mo ako ng alas-dos y medya ng umaga?!

HAY NAKU!

Yun lang ang masasabi ko.

HAY NAKU!

Tang*na, naiinis ako.

Puta talaga.

Puta talaga.

PUTA TALAGA!!!

Alam mo ba kung ano yung nakakainis? Gusto mong may "mag-ayos" sa 'yo kaya gusto mong magka-girlfriend na. Yung sasaway sa 'yo pag nagiging magastos ka, magre-remind sa 'yong mag-ipon ka naman. Yung "magagalit" pag late ka umuwi galing sa inuman. Yung pag may problema ka, obligadong makinig. Yung magke-care, yung concerned.

Puta talaga.

Gago na kung gago, pero biglang naisip ko... PAKSHET! Ginagawa ko yun ah! Automatic nga eh, parang yung involuntary muscles sa katawan ng tao. Nagugulat na lang ako pag nare-realize ko. Para akong nasabak bigla sa twilight zone. Time space warp... ngayon din!

Sana magka-girlfriend ka na. Pero sya ang babaeng kaiinggitan ko buong buhay ko.

Ano, masakit pa ba'ng ulo mo? Tulog na 'kaw.


originally written at 6:01am

- There's a reason for everything: a reason why things - or people - come in our lives, only to be taken away when we get too attached to them. Sometimes these reasons cannot be understood immediately, but through time. Trust God to reveal those things to you in His time (although, I admit, waiting can get you confused, if you think you've been into it too long!)

- Sometimes the best thing to do is to shut up. Making excuses or bluffing will only leave you looking like a fool.

- You've been working too hard when in your dreams you're still checking those reports. That's a red signal. Work is just a part of your life... it's not your life.

- No fine-sounding position or amount of compensation can get you to do something you don't enjoy. If you do, then you are either in a bad financial situation or being very stupid.

- Being hurt brings a large dose of paranoia about future relationships. You feel that there's just no possibility that love is smiling at you right now.

- Karugtong: It's unnerving to get close with someone good-looking, especially when you don't really know where you stand - or rather, what exactly is his place in your life. It's like... "Sino ba naman ako... ako'y isa lamang hamak na mortal!!!"

- Drivers who can lessen your 45-minute travel time to work are rare. Consider yourself lucky when you happen to ride with one, especially when you're already late.

- "Early to bed and early to rise" doesn't necessarily make you healthy, wealthy and wise. It just saves you from having sermons for breakfast at the workplace.

- Life is short and precious. The end is always surprising, and a lot sadder, for young people.

- Everybody has a soft spot. It's absolutely amusing and kinda heart-warming to discover that your pa-macho friend is watching sappy Korean telenovelas

- You can't just "unlove" a person. Give yourself some time to heal those wounds and dim the heartache.

- You can be friends with someone you used to love - but it takes time.

- You can love and care for a person of the opposite sex nang walang malisya. It's composed of respect and pure concern (I love you, Froi! Wahehe... )

- However pleasant you strive to be, there will always be a set of people whose mere presence sends waves of irritation up and down your spine.

- Self-control is rewarding. Blowing up in the middle of an argument can and will leave you feelings of shame later. Talk about "wah-poise"! So just breathe in, breathe out, and say "Ahuuummmmm..."

- However difficult things may get, you'll always find a reason to stay. You just have to distinguish if you are holding on for the right reasons.

- As you get on through life, your priorities change. Hindi kailangang may prospect lagi pag Valentine's Day...

- Being a student is the greatest part of one's life (at least for me). So for those out there who are still students... make the most of it! Join all the orgs you want, and nothing's stopping you from making it in the Dean's List. Choose your activities wisely. Mami-miss nyo yan pag nag-work na kayo.

- Call it discrimination, but the school where you came from matters in the corporate world. Maybe not always, but believe me, it does. A sad fact.

- Only their own team leader can understand agents, no one else. Whatever they say, they don't know you well enough... ako pa rin ang mas nakakaintindi. O sige Team 05, I want 18 turn-ins tomorrow, aight?! Pure ECs, get it?! AJA!!!

- A person needs time to be left alone and think. GUSTO KO LANG MAGPAHINGA!!!

- For some reason that I cannot fathom, there comes a time when nakakapagod nang kasama ang isang tao, kahit gano pa kayo ka-close (?). It doesn't mean na hindi mo na sya friend, o di mo sya kailangan. On the other hand, some people's company can be very relaxing even if you roam the streets, or talk on the phone, all night.

- When you get together with friends, it doesn't matter if you're in a "sozy" restaurant in Timog or in a carinderia down at V. Con... what matters is the time spent together, picking up where you left off.

- It's hard to be nice sometimes. Take shit from people just once, only once, and they will not stop even if you tell them over and over to go away and f*ck off.

- Regrets are ghosts that are hard to vanquish.

- Ika nga ni Zar, "Kinarir mo kasi." Whether she pertains to my workaholic tendencies or my non-existent lovelife, I cannot tell

- Excerpt from my journal, January 14, 2005: "Minsan ka lang makatagpo ng taong sa tinagal-tagal ng di pag-uusap, nung sa wakas eh nakausap mo na, eh naluha ka sa di-malamang dahilan." Go figure